Earlier this week I was so focused on finishing my plan that I was like a bulldozer. I ignored all the little detours that were necessary and it ended up taking way longer than it should have–that whole “a stitch in time saves nine” thing? Yeah, I pretty much just let all those stitches unravel while I was focused on getting through my plan. I find myself wondering how often I do that.
James talks about holding plans in an open hand (4:13-15). We plan, but we leave room for God to change those plans. I don’t know about you, but I tend to be an all or nothing kind of person, so if something derails my plan, I often throw up my hands in disgust and decide the evening/day is ruined and there’s no point in trying to fix it.
In Tai Chi, there’s this concept of “not knowing”–it’s the idea that we stay open to the question of what’s around us, what’s happening. It means not ever having a solid judgment about what is. Now, obviously, I believe that God gives us solid information in the Bible. It’s one of the things I love about Him–that He’s transcendent and has a third-person perspective on the nature of reality so he can reveal truth to us. However, I think there’s something to that attitude of openness.
So often I have an idea of how things are supposed to go and when they don’t go that way, I get stressed and try to force them to follow my plan. I have the feeling I probably frequently end up expending more energy than necessary and making myself miserable to boot. If I instead really believed that I didn’t know how the day was supposed to go–made my plan and held it in an open hand–I think I’d be able to view detours as adventures or maybe even short-cuts (thinking I really need to re-read The Belgariad/Mallorean!). For instance, if I get to an event and find that it’s been cancelled, I could view it as an opportunity and keep my eyes open for what God’s doing instead of berating myself for not just calling ahead and getting frustrated and upset. Or if my kids freak out and we end up spending time talking instead of getting the dishes done, maybe that’s a conversation we’re supposed to have.
So even though I have a plan for my day, I’m going to work on relaxing into the detours instead of frantically trying to hang onto my plan.