Have you ever been too stressed to deal with your stressors? Everyone has experienced times where they’ve been too stressed to fix a problem; you end up bailing water out of a leaky boat but never having the emotional margin to stop the leak. It’s an exhausting, frustrating process.

I’ve been there—avoiding my stressors, staying so busy I didn’t have room to think, and living with so much stress on a regular basis that I had relaxation-induced panic attacks.

Living with that much stress isn’t living—it’s surviving. And it takes a toll on us emotionally and physically. When we’re busy dragging around 100 pounds of baggage, it’s very hard to grow and change or to do the things God’s called us to do—the things that feel like flying and joy.

But you don’t have to stay there.

Let that sink in. You can move out of stress mode. You can live with freedom and abundance and peace and joy.

Avoiding stressors won’t fix the problem. You can’t run hard enough to escape yourself. If you really want to thrive, you have to step off that treadmill and do something different. Sometimes the idea of facing our stress is so scary we don’t want to do it. Just the thought can make you sick—I know it made me sick. It’s like an ocean wave that gets higher and higher. But when we stop, create an anchor to keep us safe, and let the wave crash over us, we are better, stronger, healthier people afterwards.

So let’s talk about one way to create that anchor to keep our emotions from drowning us: Tapping.

What is Tapping?

Tapping (sometimes also called “Emotional Freedom Technique” or “EFT”) is a process where you tune into whatever belief/emotion/memory you are trying to change and, using your fingers, stimulate a series of acupuncture points. In a randomized controlled study, Dr. Dawson Church found that Tapping resulted in a 24% decrease in cortisol levels on average. Some participants experienced as much as a 50% decrease. Cortisol is the hormone released by our bodies when we’re stressed—it’s an indicator that we’re in stress mode. So lowered cortisol levels mean lowered stress.

Whether you’re too stressed to figure out why you’re stressed, stuck in survival mode, experiencing trauma triggers, or unable to relax, lowered stress is a good thing!

We all know that too much stress is bad for us, but let’s take a second to talk about why it’s bad. When we’re stressed, our bodies increase cortisol, which signals to our body to slow down digestion, speed up blood pressure, speed up breathing, and generally prepare us to run away or fight back. This is called the fight-or-flight response. It’s awesome for when you’re in a situation where you’re literally going to have to run or fight!

Unfortunately, more and more people are living in this state of heightened stress and that’s less awesome. Long-term slow digestion leads to weight gain and health issues related to malnutrition. Stress is the root cause for a host of diseases. In addition to these physical problems, scientists have discovered that fight-or-flight literally shuts down our creativity and reasoning. So when we’re stressed, we can’t come up with solutions and we get even more stressed. It’s a vicious cycle that prevents us from implementing change in our lives. We need space and support to have room for change—we need an anchor to keep us safe.

Tapping creates that anchor. It temporarily shuts off your fight-or-flight mode so your brain and body can begin working through your stress. Once you’ve processed it, suddenly things you’ve been telling yourself for years ring less true. Beliefs shift. Perspective shifts, and you can begin to act differently. It’s like rewiring your brain with the truths you know in your mind, but your heart has trouble believing.

In addition to being powerful, Tapping is extremely convenient. It only takes a few minutes and doesn’t require any extra tools or a therapist. It’s something you can do on your own or with someone else if you want the support.

Tapping Basics

So, let’s talk about how to Tap. The big picture is that, using two fingers, you gently tap your way through all the points (see diagram*).

Tapping can be used to lower stress in general—in which case you can just Tap through the points without saying or doing anything. This kind of Tapping is similar to meditation—it gives you some margin without necessarily working through any belief or experience.

To process through an experience or change a belief, you Tap and say various phrases out loud, visualize, or focus on the physical sensations you’re experiencing.

Tapping requires precision. As Margaret Lynch puts it, you can’t get a splinter out with a blunt instrument. When you Tap, you want to be as clear as possible. You also want to express whatever emotion you’re talking about. If you’re angry, yell! Exaggeration of the emotion can help push it through faster.

If you’re not sure what you need to work on, Tapping can also be exploratory. You can just say what comes to mind and see where the process takes you. The lowered stress level gives you room to figure out what the actual problem is.

Instructions

1) Choose what you’re going to Tap through. This can be an event, a belief, a feeling—even a physical sensation.

2) Write down how intense your chosen situation is on a scale of 0-10 with 0 meaning it’s not intense at all and 10 being the most intense you can imagine.

3) Create a set-up statement. Usually, this is “Even though I (insert problem or belief you’re trying to change), I love and accept myself.

4) Tap lightly on your karate chop point while you say the set-up statement three times.

5) Tap through the points while using phrases, visualizations, or actions to stay focused on your target (see diagram below for a list of points).

6) Take a deep breath and check to see how you feel. Once again, write down the intensity of your feelings.

7) Keep Tapping until the intensity comes down. Often, the intensity will initially rise as you get in touch with feelings you’ve been suppressing. Or your focus may shift slightly—events and feelings are all connected in our subconscious so you may begin tapping on how awful a family experience was and then somehow find yourself thinking about a situation in a later romantic relationship. Trust the process. Your mind knows what is connected and will bring things up. Let yourself go there. It may feel like a detour but chances are it’s right on target for what you need to address.

Tapping Tips

Pray first. The Holy Spirit can show you the things in your heart that you don’t know are there and help direct your Tapping session.
There are two keys to successful Tapping. The first is to tune into the underlying emotions, sensations, and beliefs. As I said, you have to be precise. So experiment with what helps you do that. What works for you may not work for me and vice versa. If you need to listen to music and Tap, do it! If you need to hit a pillow and Tap, do it! Regardless of what any practitioner may say, there’s no magic formula. There’s no magic script. It’s about connecting with those underlying emotions, sensations, and belief while Tapping. That’s where the magic comes in! So don’t be afraid to be creative.
The second key to successful Tapping is to love yourself, even if you don’t like the belief or event you’re trying to work on. The more you try to get rid of that part of you, the harder it’s going to fight to stick around. Instead of trying to negate something, focus on accepting that part of you and giving it love. Once it’s feeling safe and loved, that part will be much more open to changing.
You might feel worse before you feel better—keep Tapping! You’re getting in touch with powerful emotions, sensations, and beliefs. Tappers can experience physical sensations like dizziness, nausea, chest pain, shortness of breath. But the sensations do pass as you process through whatever you’re working on. Tappers can also have emotional side effects like crying uncontrollably, screaming, and feeling generally out of control. This is OKAY! It doesn’t feel good, but it means that you’re processing through your stuff. These sensations will pass.
Drink extra water before and after Tapping. Emotions are stored in our bodies as chemicals, and water will help your body detoxify from these chemicals.
Give yourself extra grace while you’re working on your stress. It’s hard work! And you are very courageous for being willing to address the root problems rather than continuing to bail out your boat. You may feel tired or more emotional in general after Tapping. It doesn’t last forever 🙂 But, depending on what you’re working through, it can take time to process. Listen to your body and your soul. If you need a break, give yourself a break. This is a marathon—not a sprint.

FAQ

When do you need someone else there? Sometimes, because we all develop blind spots, it can be necessary to talk with someone else who can give you a push to help you see from a different perspective. That’s when a Tapping specialist can come in handy. If you’ve been Tapping on something and you’re not experiencing shifts, it’s probably time to call in the cavalry. In addition, if you’re dealing with something traumatic, you will probably need someone else around to help you feel safe enough to process well. If you’re afraid of having someone there, you can Tap on that fear first and then find someone you trust to help you out. I highly recommend seeing a counselor if you’re dealing with trauma—getting to the point of post-traumatic growth is worth investing in seeing a professional!
How hard should you tap on the points? Not too hard. About as hard as you would drum your fingers on a table.
How many times should you tap? 5-7 times/point
Which side should you tap on? Either or both—doesn’t really matter
What should you say? Tapping is about connecting with your emotions, so we want to start with the negative and welcome that in (trapped emotions are stuck emotions). You don’t have to say anything in particular, you just want to connect with the emotion and stay focused on it. A phrase or just talking about an event or how you feel can help you stay focused. The more focused it is, the more likely you’ll be able to move that emotion through. Margaret Lynch talks about how it’s like trying to remove a splinter—you want to use a pair of tweezers, not a giant pair of pliers.
What are the after-effects? Because Tapping allows us to connect with stuck emotions, you may initially experience dizziness, nausea, yawning, burping, and/or emotional overwhelm. KEEP TAPPING if you can stand it. If you can’t, stand up and walk around a bit—movement will disconnect you from those emotions. But if you can keep tapping, you can help free them up long-term.
How often do you have to tap on something? Because we’re literally rewiring your beliefs and feelings, it may take several sessions of tapping before you experience long-term change. It’s like creating a path by walking the same route over and over again. Tapping allows you to walk that route when your current patterns might prevent you from doing so, but it may take going down the route a few times before it sticks.
What do I need when I Tap? Drinking extra water is a good way to help flush out some of the toxins stirred up from an intense bout of tapping—I like to start with drinking some water and end with drinking some water. A notepad or some way to document what you’ve learned and to remind yourself of things you want to come back to is very useful. Other than that, you just need privacy/a place where you can express yourself (I’ve even just run to the bathroom when I was away from home and needed a couple minutes to Tap!) and yourself.
Why do you start with negative statements? That’s part of loving and accepting the parts of you that are telling you they need a little TLC. If you try to skip to the positive, you’re just shoving the negative into a box and yeah, it might feel better for a short time, but eventually it’ll pop right back out. To experience long-lasting results, it’s important to process the negative, to sit with it and give it love, and allow it to dissipate naturally.

Tapping is absolutely a great way to be intentional with your growth! It can get you unstuck, turbo-charge your forward movement, and give you clarity and calm if you’re having a bad day. If you’d like to be notified whenever I’ll be doing a free Tap-a-long session, join my life coaching email list.

Links

Church, Dawson, PhD, Garret Yount, PhD, and Audrey J. Brooks, PhD. “The Effect of Emotional Freedom Techniques on Stress… : The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease.” LWW. October 2012. Accessed April 24, 2018. https://journals.lww.com/jonmd/Abstract/2012/10000/The_Effect_of_Emotional_Freedom_Techniques_on.12.aspx

Deans, Emily, M.D. “Stress: The Killer Disease.” Psychology Today. November 26, 2012. Accessed April 23, 2018. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolutionary-psychiatry/201211/stress-the-killer-disease.

Mercola, Joseph, D.O. “”Stress: Portrait of a Killer” Examines How Stress Can Kill You.” Mercola.com. July 5, 2014. Accessed April 23, 2018. https://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2014/07/05/stress-effects.aspx.

Powers, Anna. “Stress: The Silent Killer Of Dreams and A Scientifically Backed Way To Rewire Your Brain for Success.” Forbes. November 26, 2017. Accessed April 23, 2018. https://www.forbes.com/sites/annapowers/2017/11/23/a-simple-life-hack-to-rewire-your-brain-for-stress-free-and-successful-life/#7eca716cbddd.

Arnsten, Amy F. T. “Stress Signalling Pathways That Impair Prefrontal Cortex Structure and Function.” Nature Reviews. Neuroscience. June 2009. Accessed April 24, 2018. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2907136/

For a host of other Tapping resources, go to https://www.thetappingsolution.com